Let’s Learn How to Disagree About Ukraine & Russia
Reflections on Russia and Ukraine
Because of my experience as a university educator in Russia and Ukraine and the friendships I have developed in both countries since 1990, the Russian invasion of Ukraine in February 2022 was a painful tragedy to witness. I decided to begin writing periodic reflections on the war for the benefit of my family and friends, as well as for former students, staff, and faculty at schools in both locations. I soon realized that meaningful exchanges were not taking place between people on either side of the front lines.
For the last three years, I have been teaching courses to adult learners in Calvin College’s CALL (Calvin Academy for Lifelong Learning) Program, and I have heard numerous discussions about how members of families can no longer talk with each other because of the animosities generated by their radically different political views. The pending presidential election on November 5 has elevated the level of rhetoric and name-calling, along with false charges or claims about political opponents.
The issues in the debate about whether or not to support Ukraine’s request for assistance in their struggle for survival against Russia are complex enough for most of us who do not have expertise on these issues. The involvement of foreign governments (Russia, Iran, China, and North Korea, among others) who are working to undermine democracy in the West adds more complexity.
In my teaching, I have tried to identify resources that encourage people to share their viewpoints on these subjects, but to do so with integrity and respect. Arthur C. Brooks’ book Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt is a treasure of unconventional advice. He makes the case that Americans should not try to agree more, because disagreement is the secret to success – not mushy moderation.
Brooks, a devout Catholic who uses both Biblical and social science insights in his work, summarizes his desire for building reconciliation and warns all of us that America is caught in a “fear polarity,” full of hateful discourse. The only way to deal with these fears is to learn to love each other. He warns us that contempt kills relationships, contempt kills love, and contempt is ripping our country apart. “Publicly insulting others simply fuels the terrible national addiction to political hate and is unproductive,” Brooks writes, and he challenges each of us to learn to speak respectfully with our political opponents.
Brooks’ book is a valuable resource, especially for those of us who are tired of all the hateful discourse and the derogatory name-calling. In the concluding chapter, Brooks lays out “five simple rules to remember if you believe we can renew our nation, and you want to be part of that movement.” Why not join this movement and make your conversations about difficult foreign and domestic issues a positive, constructive exchange? Democracy and political freedom will not survive in a culture of contempt.
Rule #1: Stand up to the Man. Refuse to be used by the powerful . . . Set your strategy for rebellion. Tune manipulators out and stand up to people on your side who trash people on the other side.
Rule #2: Escape the bubble. Go where you’re not invited and say things that people don’t expect. Do I hear diverse viewpoints? Do I have personal relationships with people who do not share my politics? Make an ideologically wider social circle this year’s project.
Rule #3: Say no to contempt. Treat others with love and respect, even when it is difficult. Never treat others with contempt, even if you believe they deserve it.
Rule #4: Disagree better. Be part of a healthy competition of ideas. The single biggest way a subversive can change America is not by disagreeing less but disagreeing better – engaging in earnest debate while still treating everyone with love and respect.
Rule #5: Tune out. Disconnect more from the unproductive debates. Get rid of your curated social media feeds. Unfollow public figures who ferment contempt. Do a politics cleanse – take a break from politics. Resolve to pay attention to ideas, not just politics.
May you experience shalom as you put these thoughts to work in your life!
Additional Peacemaking Resources:
Timothy Keller & John Inazu, Uncommon Ground: Living Faithfully in a World of Difference (2020)
John D. Inazu, Confident Pluralism: Surviving and Thriving through Deep Difference (2016)
Philip Yancey, “Divided We Stand,” (August 2024) — sign up to read and receive updates!